Memories in Paraphrase

It's lovely midafternoon here in Olympia, the sky is rather grey and there's probably rain somwhere, but that's rather typical in this area. Why did I never noticed how dismal it looks when I was in Seattle? That's probably because that I was rather happy when I was in Seattle and it was the fulfillment of that thirteen year old's dream to move there following high school. I did it. I need to get back.

2003 is drawing to a close, and it's probably a good time to look back and reflect on everything that has occured. Sure, that sounds like a good idea, but it's not particularly something that I want to do at the moment. There's a lot to go over and it seems to have gone by oh so fast, already, it's been three weeks since I first got back to Olympia. And it doesn't seem like it.

But in any event, pushing on past what seems to be a abyssmal start to a journal entry. I'm sitting right now listening to Delerium's album "Poem" to which Murphy's trying to sing and talk through in the background. Alright, so I did my fair share of noise when it came down to it, if only because... well... it seemed to be entertaining him. I just stopped because my lips were getting a little tired from the whistling form you have to make. There is still something of an ache in that my sister won't let me handle him and that I've effectively lost my parrot to her. I fought my dad for Murphy when I was eleven or twelve but to my sister, I have thus far said not a word to that effect. My fault, my loss, but as Skan pointed out, if the bird is happier...

I keep forgetting if today is Wednesday or Thursday, the date itself is etched clear in my head and I know exactly what it is, but the day of the week keeps flittering back and forth. This is probably the third or fourth time today that I've had to check a calendar to decipher which it is. How sad.

So moving onwards, I haven't really been up to all that much since the last time I posted with something of actual substance. I've been sitting around, filling out job applications, wrote a resume, posted it online at a couple of job sites, but nontheless have been trying to get a job. It's been a rather losing battle down here, and I feel awful about it, at least for my sister because thus far I'm contributing nothing to the household. But Christmas is coming and a lot of whatever I get as far as fundage goes, I'll give to my sister, as much as the idea annoys me. Still, you gotta do what you gotta do, and that's just one more thing that has to be done.

I lost my temper with Peter a couple of days ago, when he called and ended up yelling at him over the phone. It seemed like a good idea at the time, but then again, a good majority of those times that you think something is a good idea, it never really is. Ah... well, interestingly enough when I signed online a couple of hours later, I was going to apologize to him for it and he blocked me. To this day, I still think I'm blocked on AIM by him, though I can't really be sure without asking someone else if they can check if he's online, which, really isn't going to happen beyond that first day. Today's his birthday, and I'm debating sucking everything up and calling in the early evening, I've always called him on his birthday for as long as we've known each other, minus last year when we were living together. The prospect of James answering the phone just chills me and god only knows if he'd 1) tell me the truth if Peter was there or 2) pass the message along if he wasn't. I don't want to bet on either and perhaps an email will just have to suffice. I sincerely doubt that anyone else besides myself is keeping score if I follow through with "always" calling him on his birthday.

Contrary to popular belief, I -do- apologize, but when I feel as though there's something there to be apologizing for. I refuse to do it otherwise, and I believe that's how it should be, because if you're always tossing around empty apologies, no one will believe you when you're actually sincere. But that's just me and people have told me more than once that I'm a bitch with claws or something of that effect.

Touching down onto less philosphical writings or whatever it was, yesterday, I met mechpest after long last. (I decided to go to the mail at this point, and it -is- raining and now my feet are cold.) It was amusing, we met at the mall, he got there uber early and I was somewhat late and kept him waiting and then I realized that I wouldn't have been able to recognize him or anything like that. After some calling to my sister to get his phone number because I, like an idiot, forgot it, I called him and la da! In my horrible capabilities as hostess, I wasn't really sure what all that we could do and we ended up hanging at the mall for quite some time before we we stopped over at my house so we could look at something on the porch. Cory doesn't want anyone over in the house while she or Tim aren't around, so hence the porch, but Tim was home so we could get out of the chill of the night. I had a good time just sitting around and talking and the like and trying to prevent him from reading the manuals to games he hadn't beaten yet. >:> I got blisters from my clogs last night so that was something of an amusement. Ah well, I'll survive.

But beyond that, there's not been much else that's been going on. We had emptied my storage unit and got it all sorted out so it's no longer in my bedroom, the room in question is something of a mess and I'll have to get around to finishing cleaning it before I take on any more projects. Though, other projects are more amusing than cleaning my room... Bleh. Oh well. What has to be done, has to be done and the sooner it's out of the way, the sooner I can take on those other projects.