Thrill Kill - Short Story
Aug. 31st, 2009 05:20 pmAs promised, the short story I had written a while ago. Constructive criticism, editorial remarks and comments are welcomed. Really would like feedback about the writing style itself, and the technical side of it regardig the flow, pacing and contained events.
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First draft, second revision
January 8th, 2009
Combichrist - Sex, Drogen, und Industrial
Combichrist - Enjoy the Abuse
Combichrist - Today I Woke Up to a Rain of Blood
VNV Nation - Darkangel
Wumpscut - Wreath of Barbs
Tactical Sekt - Devil's Work
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Waiting, she stood atop the building, the toes of her leather boots curling right over the edge, staring down at the street which was some stories below her. No hint of vertigo or fear stirred her. In fact, she was quite dispassionate of the view as she took another drag on her cigarette. It was a mild autumn evening in the city, a slight breeze the only disturbance in the cloudless night.
With a flick of her gloved fingers, the cigarette butt was discarded, its lingering spark of light falling into the abyss of the waiting street lamps. A sigh escaped her, and she jumped down from the perch to the roof, turning her back for a moment. The high powered sniper rifle sat a foot off from where she had stood, already present when she had come up to the roof. She left it on the ledge while she began to fetch the other small instruments required. A small stand, the finely crafted scope, a silencer and the two 7.62mm calibur bullets were all produced from within the long trench coat she wore. Each item fitted into their proper places, and with a sense of finality, the bullets were loaded with individual clicks.
( Read more )
---
First draft, second revision
January 8th, 2009
Combichrist - Sex, Drogen, und Industrial
Combichrist - Enjoy the Abuse
Combichrist - Today I Woke Up to a Rain of Blood
VNV Nation - Darkangel
Wumpscut - Wreath of Barbs
Tactical Sekt - Devil's Work
---
Waiting, she stood atop the building, the toes of her leather boots curling right over the edge, staring down at the street which was some stories below her. No hint of vertigo or fear stirred her. In fact, she was quite dispassionate of the view as she took another drag on her cigarette. It was a mild autumn evening in the city, a slight breeze the only disturbance in the cloudless night.
With a flick of her gloved fingers, the cigarette butt was discarded, its lingering spark of light falling into the abyss of the waiting street lamps. A sigh escaped her, and she jumped down from the perch to the roof, turning her back for a moment. The high powered sniper rifle sat a foot off from where she had stood, already present when she had come up to the roof. She left it on the ledge while she began to fetch the other small instruments required. A small stand, the finely crafted scope, a silencer and the two 7.62mm calibur bullets were all produced from within the long trench coat she wore. Each item fitted into their proper places, and with a sense of finality, the bullets were loaded with individual clicks.
( Read more )